It’s been a while since I’ve written anything so I thought I’d sit and write about something that keeps coming up in conversations- friendship. Sadly I’ve talked to many women this year who feel like they are on their own. They love God, spend time hearing Him, walking out this journey, knowing there will be times of trouble or distance. But they have said, I’m just lonely! That made me really think about what I’ve felt like as well. We are told, you are never alone when you have Jesus at the core of your life. I believe this. We have to know this though, that God made us to be in relationship with others. For, in community is where we feel the love of God in a more tangible way. We are seen, heard & have a sense of belonging.
For me, I’ve always had friends around! I’m an extrovert and absolutely love people. This year has been different though… one of transition; and one of THE loneliest years I’ve ever experienced. God has done sifting in every area of my life and it’s been a radical change for me. The peace, pace and quiet has been amazing from the sense of simplicity and times of solitude with my creator. But today I’m just struggling with the quiet. I’m struggling with finding joy. Trust me, I’ve asked God to fill me and I thought It would come charging in as it normally does for me. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
As a Life Coach, I frequently tell clients, happiness, joy and peace are all a choice. You get to choose daily, the way you will feel. I’m sure that makes them feel like throwing something at me! 🙂 But here’s the other thing I tell them, “You will have days that sadness or loneliness may overwhelm you-there is not one thing wrong with struggling with your emotions-God gave you them to you to experience.Then….we get up and take responsibility for ourselves and choose to turn towards Him in the muck, and ask Him to fill us in the empty places.” And He really does. We can also ask Him to bring us friends!
When I sat down to write this I felt really torn. To tell people your are hurting, lonely or sad is incredibly vulnerable. Maybe like… I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m really not about that. What I am about is, showing deep compassion towards myself.Taking time to read Gods truth over myself. Singing. Dancing. Speaking words of encouragement, love and humor… you name it whatever it takes. It’s really about resting in this place and hearing what He wants to me to hear in the silence. Then using everything God deposited in me until my smile returns, and my tank is once again full. It’s amazing how we have every resource needed within ourselves because we belong to Him.
The thing I know is, life is full of season changes and all kinds of temporary moments. Friends come and go. I have been really blessed! I do this for myself, and all say to all the ladies who are struggling with this season- try to be the best friend that you can be to yourself.
I will say this today; you is good…. and kind…. and important.
Lets keep talking about friendship and loneliness and seasons. It’s so important to feel connected and know that others have walked through to the other side. And to hear from those who are in the midst of life changes. I want to explore what makes a good friend. What are the different kinds of friendships, so we can get a balanced view with balanced meanings. What it means when you “lose” friends; and the meaning we attach to that.
The number one thing it takes to be a good friend is vulnerability. It’s a risk, because when you love there is always the chance you will be disappointed. And you will be. But in the end it’s always worth it! All the friends I’ve had or have, bring richness to my journey-I’m so thankful!
A friend loves at all times, and a brother (or sister) is born for adversity. Prov. 17:17